u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
