He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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