I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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