Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
