Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
