When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
