Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize