im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
