It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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