i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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