my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
