I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
