the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
