and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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