Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
