Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
