Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
