That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
