Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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