he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
