Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I will die if light touches me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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