was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize