discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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