No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
