a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
