Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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