the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
