I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
porn star boner night. come get it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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