You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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