yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
