I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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