Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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