i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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