She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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