That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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