He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
