So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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