Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
