I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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