So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
