Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
