oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
