too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
