A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
