yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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