It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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