Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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