we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
