real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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