Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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