Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize