i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
