He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
