so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize