I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
