you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
my shit smells like andre
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Randomize
