Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
