i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
