I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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