How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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