She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
