Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
