I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
this hospital has no fireball
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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