So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
