How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Randomize
