drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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